Ex Africa semper aliquid novi; buy an African farmer a chicken or a goat

There is always something new out of Africa. The latest being the website lastminute.com offering you, its customer, a chance to ‘buy a sheep, a goat or some chickens from FARM AFRICA.’ (I quote directly off their website) As you make last ditch vacation plans, you may also have a last minute change of heart [...]

By Martin Kimani

There is always something new out of Africa. The latest being the website lastminute.com offering you, its customer, a chance to ‘buy a sheep, a goat or some chickens from FARM AFRICA.’ (I quote directly off their website) As you make last ditch vacation plans, you may also have a last minute change of heart about the dollar-a-day continent.

Imagine how good you will feel when you add a good deed to your vacation. ‘Not only will you be helping a worthy cause like poor African farmers or abandoned kitties (emphasis mine), but your lucky recipient will receive a gift pack with information about the charity and a unique gift to open on their special day.’

But lastminute.com does more than rouse your conscience, it desires to empower you. ‘So you’re not Gordon Brown and you can’t cancel the debt of the Third World. But with lastminute.com and FARM FRIENDS you have the chance to do something amazing, just by buying a gift for a friend (or even for yourself). You can choose a sheep, a goat or a brood of chickens. Of course, they won’t be delivered to you or the person you’re buying the gift for. Instead, they’ll get a really cute model of the chosen animal, while Farm Africa will give the real animal to a poor African farmer, who is struggling to feed his family. Just a few pounds buys the greatest gift of all - a happier, healthier future. A goat, for example, provides milk to fight-off malnutrition and any excess can be sold to pay for medicine or schoolbooks.’

Remember it is not just the right thing to do, it is also fun and educational. Or to let lastminute.com express it more accurately, ‘it’s a unique and fun present that also helps an African farmer feed his children. When you buy an animal, the recipient receives a FARM FRIENDS pack including a miniature sheep, goat or chicken, more information on how the real animals are helping poor farmers in Africa and most importantly, the knowledge that you are making a huge difference for someone in need.’

Out of Africa there is always something new and that never ages no matter how often it is repeated.

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20 Comments

  1. Keguro added these pithy words on 14/01/2006 | Permalink

    I see someone else was breast-fed on sarcasm and weaned on irony

  2. MMK added these pithy words on 14/01/2006 | Permalink

    It has gotten to the point that the only response is either hysterical laughter or tears.

  3. wanduma added these pithy words on 14/01/2006 | Permalink

    I got to get me one of those.

  4. HASH added these pithy words on 15/01/2006 | Permalink

    Personally, I’m sponsoring a goat. I’m hoping that it’s in Kenya so I’ll have some good nyama choma when I head back.

  5. WM added these pithy words on 15/01/2006 | Permalink

    MMK,
    I have several pithy and witty things to say, but frankly I am laughing so hard I can’t remember what they were. What are you doing stealing my readers? Keguro: shame on you–this man will corrupt and cynicise (word?) you. Stick with me: I’m much nicer.
    Lakini Kima–um, tell me, do the animals suffer???

  6. MMK added these pithy words on 15/01/2006 | Permalink

    WM - ebu don’t come to this neighbourhood trying to steal Keguro away! Shame, shame I say. As for Wanduma, I do not see how you can take advantage of the lastminute offer since you are after all a poor farmer :-)

    But seriously, don’t you guys have this sense that what used to be a discreet approach to charity for Africa has become increasingly hysterical?

  7. jke added these pithy words on 15/01/2006 | Permalink

    Oh my…reminds me of this: http://www.mailorderchickens.org/

  8. Keguro added these pithy words on 16/01/2006 | Permalink

    As my mother would say, Shame!

    I am not a toy to be shared or fought over!

    There’s a great article in the NYT today about ugly toys, cheap singing birds that are the “in” thing with the fashionable set.

    I can hear the Brangelina inspired comments:

    “Oh, Chad is so over. Sudan is the place to be.”

    “But, my dear, do you get the cute animals from the Kenya scheme?”

    “Better, I have pictures of starving orphans. God, I want her cheekbones!”

  9. pie in the sky added these pithy words on 16/01/2006 | Permalink

    MMK, You are killing me ….. again. WM is right, you are cynicising me vibaya.

    Like you say, the only response is hysterical laughter or tears.

  10. MMK added these pithy words on 16/01/2006 | Permalink

    I must admit that cynicising is a good word. Someone call up the Oxford dictionary. Cynicising. Mnanichekesha.

  11. Prousette added these pithy words on 17/01/2006 | Permalink

    So that is the new live8. Or is it livegoat this time?
    Was the poor african farmer involved in this noble venture?

  12. WM added these pithy words on 23/01/2006 | Permalink

    I’ve now picked myself up of the floor and am hiccuping only occasionally. However tears of laughter continue to stream down my face. Question: have you patented the appellation “dollar a day continent” or can I use it too?
    Oh Lordy you outdid yourself on this one. This was (almost) better than sex.

  13. MMK added these pithy words on 23/01/2006 | Permalink

    My people, have you bought the goats? I want someone to send me this gift surely.

  14. WM added these pithy words on 24/01/2006 | Permalink

    First of all, Keguro, maumivu yakizidi…do the necessary. Ati, “my dear, those cheekbones!”
    As for you MMK, shouldn’t you add that “no farm animals have been harmed in the making of this blog…” or the SPCA will be at your house momentarily. But please please stop…I’m back to rolling about on the floor. Those cheekbones! To die for! Well, come to think of it, they are, really….

  15. kinyi added these pithy words on 09/02/2006 | Permalink

    My first encounter with the ‘buy an african farmer a chicken or goat’ story when I read about it in the New African (Jan 2006) a magazine, it was one of the many illustrations under the title The Myth of a Dollar a Day in Africa (or something similar). I laughed so hard but it still stung in aftertaste… Oh well the West and its take on Africa will never seize to amaze and how it ‘offers’ itself to give a helping hand at the same time giving itself a pat on the back.

  16. stonelifter added these pithy words on 21/02/2006 | Permalink

    i was gonna buy a goat but i am allergic to them. come come there martin,post something new,stimulate us in blogland.

  17. Anonymous added these pithy words on 22/02/2006 | Permalink

    Githee,
    Kwani with the advent of winter you went into hibernation???!!!!
    Wake up!!

    Disgruntled reader

  18. Anonymous added these pithy words on 25/02/2006 | Permalink

    Of course if they dehydrate them you’ll get alot more in the box.

    Perhaps you could put a small toy in for the children.

    G

    http://spaces.msn.com/safaricast

  19. Keguro added these pithy words on 25/02/2006 | Permalink

    How did I miss we attended the same venerated institution?

    Perhaps it causes a particular kind of madness (the binj attended as well).

    Very curious, very very curious.

  20. MMK added these pithy words on 01/03/2006 | Permalink

    keguro - I respected and admired you till you revealed you were in Lenana School like I was. Now I pity you. :-)

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